Much Ado About Sex…….

Its quite interesting, the much interest and passion sex invokes in people and the general reaction to it.

Sex, despite the times we are in now, still seems muted in in this part of our world but atimes veiled in conversation unlike the first world nations where its the norm and without restraint.

Even at that, while our conversations regarding sex may be “veiled” the manner in which its invading our society and sub-concious is highly alarming and the rate at which we get involved in it, either physical in the act itself or something else. We are in a world saturated by sex…images, sound, smell….name all envelopes us all round. like a thick fog.

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Torn in-between

Crossroad of life

Crossroad of life

Matters of the heart could be very dicey atimes. Causing you a ache that you never bargained for nor imagined. A times, the line between sanity and insanity is so thin its hardly decipherable,between your heart and people is also a great tug of war; trying to please them and at the same time following your heart.

This atimes lead us into making certain decisions that could either mar our relationship with people or build it. But the truth must be told, if you are a people pleaser, you would follow them even if they are wrong and vice versa.

Though am not an authority in matters of the heart, but i believe everyone has a responsibility to the choice made over who to love and not love, who to go out with and not, who to marry and who not to marry. Life is a matter of choice, whether we are in-between or not, its for us to make up our minds, follow our intuition and listen to our heart, the still small voice to guide us in making the right decisions that puts us at peace with God primarily then man, secondary when they come to see the import of the decision taken.

So when torn in-between, why not seat still, settle the decision within your heart, be at peace with your own soul and with God and move ahead to take a action.


Lust or Love?

Yesterday was a very revealing day to me. It told me something about human emotions especially when it comes to matters of the heart.When the wisest man that ever lived said one of the things that defy explanation to him was the way of a man with a maid, he must have forgotten that its a two way equation; the way of the maid with the man as well!

Actually am baffled with the assumptions People usually have about relationships. Especially when a young man and a woman are seeing each other often. The next thing that will be playing on their minds is, “Maybe he will ask me out” “Am sure that girl is falling for me” etc. Well that is not what i want to dwell on, but on the thin line in between love and lust.

I met this young Lady about 4 years ago in School, a next door neighbor. We see regularly, chat together and keep each other company occasionally. Just a very regular relationship in such a school environment or so i thought. Well, Unfortunately she had to leave school to do her undergraduate outside the country and we lost touch until mid last year when i met her online. We just chatted briefly, said she was married with kids and that was the end or so i thought. Yesterday, i met her online again exchanged pleasantries and then she dropped the bombshell that had me thinking till now.
She said till now, she has not found anybody like me, that didn’t really get me. What got me was that, she claimed to have loved me then, but that i rejected her! And she held that in her mind all these years! And i can remember vividly the last night i was with her;a night where passion almost enveloped us but for God’s mercy. And i left town the next day to avoid getting entangled and she travelled that week as well. And not for once did it ever occur to me that i want to date her or go out with her in anyway whatsoever. And she herself never raised or suggested it in any form either subtle or flagrant.

And last night i was thinking, where is the line of demarcation between lust and love? Or perhaps, is this lust or love in operation? We got chatting for quite a while and she later called me. But one thing i was able to decipher out of our conversation was an underlying lust masked as love. (Maybe my assumptions). But it was so strong. I could feel its pulsating power at work even across the distance between us, across the time that has separated us all these years, its potency,at its peak, like a pot of boiling water. Its heat searing and scotching like a volcanic lava consuming anything that dares stand in its way. And i asked myself again, is this lust or love?

Am not trying to be a Saint and i will never attempt to be one. Its just a pity when People look at me like a saint or assume am as innocent as a baby.But babies are not innocent when you get privy of the atrocities they commit has well when sucking their Mother’s breast. But i like to be real with myself. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, i like telling myself the home truth to avoid getting unnecessarily mired in a quagmire.

But, i wonder why people will equate lust with love or why people tend to think along that line. Probably, the lines are so blurred into one another that a clear cut distinction can’t be made but i don’t want to believe that is the case. I believe its about our value system. What we hold dear and cherish. Its about us as individuals, what we see in ourselves that no other can see in us. Our fundamental identity and understanding about ourselves, not tied to another person. Even though, emotions can blunt out all logic and reasoning, i believe it can be mastered well enough for us not to be overwhelmed at critical moments in our lives.

Yes it may be a thin line, but thin enough to differentiate between life and death.



Recently, Bank Phb launched the Pink Account for women. And I find it quite interesting and curious!

But I have a question, why women and not men? It sounds to me to be a feminine issue here. Why the entire hullabaloo on women saving, having an account, etc?! I personally find it amusing and at the same time disquieting. Access Bank also has an account call GEM for women only, and a finance house also had an account, a mutual funds for women. And am wondering, what’s the problem?! To BankPHB, Pink Account is more than a product. It is a special platform for Women Banking, the platform that shall carry many future initiatives from BankPHB, on special banking services for women to enable them to live and enjoy a good life.

The benefit that was stated by Bank PHB includes;

  1. Financing for baby care products. This will afford the expectant mother, the opportunity to acquire all the necessary and top quality baby products from MotherCare.  These items include baby cot, sterilizing equipment, car seat, etc. This package is from N24, 000 monthly (for 12 months) and there are three packages available for her to choose from.
  2. Financing to enable the woman acquire kitchen appliances like deep freezer, micro wave oven, gas cooker, washing machine, etc  or have a total kitchen makeover with top class kitchen cabinets designed to her taste. This package is from N14, 000 monthly (for 12 months) and there is an option of choosing a total kitchen makeover or selecting the appliances.
  3. Jewelry Financing: Every woman knows good quality jewelry last forever and can be passed on from generation to generation. Our jewelry package will enable the modern woman acquire valuable jewelry that will dazzle like gold, diamonds and gemstones. The woman can pick whatever jewelry she wants from our partner stores with a minimum value of N150,000 and pay back over a period of 12 months.
  4. Discount on Fashion and Beauty items: Each Pink account holder will enjoy instant discount (up to 20%) from our Partner stores for fashion and beauty items like clothes, shoes, beauty products and accessories to enhance her appearance.
  5. Pink Card and Cheque Book: Each account holder will also get a Pink Discount card and Cheque books.

Now, all these benefits are fantastic and mouth watering I must say! But I am not been chauvinistic here, but I can’t help wondering, has all the accounts in the different banks till date being for men only? Or banks are now targeting gender based accounts? It’s a question that I need some answers to please.

In as much as it’s a good thing, but I think the banks are treading on an unfair ground. Come to think of it, if it had been the other way round, won’t we be hearing the shout of marginalization! Women Empowerment! Victimization! ETC! Looking at the benefits stated here, it’s clear who the target is even amongst the women, the upwardly mobile corporate woman! Where is the Market woman? Where is the young average woman who this does not ideally appeal too? The young woman, trying to earn a living?

I think, there are some gray areas that need to be looked at, and the need to downplay the feminist tone about the accounts. Women empowerment is good, but let’s not take it too far.

What’s Wrong Been a Virgin?


I had an interesting discussion with a neighbor friend yesterday, and it bordered on sex and women. He has this believe that every lady wants a man who will be having sex with her on a regular basis and that no lady can remain a virgin till marriage.

It’s quite a weird thinking, skewered i must say. Of course i told him his argument was baseless and lacks merit but he believes he is right. That tells me something about the mindset some people actually carry around when it comes to sex and relationship. Some believe they can’t be in a relationship and not have active sex with their partner. While others differ on it. Some don’t even need to be in a relationship before they have sex with anybody they fancy just like that my friend. Continue reading