There’s a difference between what is rightfully yours and what you end up getting. Many times, the gap between the two is simply a matter of knowledge and the courage to demand what is due to you. Too often, people accept denials, delays, and outright exploitation because they do not know their rights or how to push for them effectively.

I learned this lesson firsthand, not once but twice, and these experiences reinforced the importance of being informed, persistent, and strategic in addressing issues—whether in personal matters, business dealings, or even nation-building.

Story 1: The X-ray That Almost Wasn’t

Last year, I visited the hospital for persistent pain in my knee, which radiated down my leg to my ankle. The attending doctor requested an X-ray, and since I was on a health insurance plan (HMO), I assumed it would be covered. After waiting for the usual back and forth on approvals, I was eventually told that two, out of the three X-rays had been denied, and I would need to pay out of pocket.

Surprised, I checked my plan and saw that the procedure was actually covered. When I engaged the HMO’s customer service via WhatsApp, I was informed that the request was denied because the diagnosis provided did not warrant an X-ray. Even more shocking, the decision had been made by the HMO’s in-house doctor—someone who had never seen me, assessed my condition, or examined my symptoms.

Frustrated, I escalated the matter via email, demanding a refund. At first, I was ignored. But when I forwarded my correspondence to the COO, I received a response within an hour. The company representative admitted that the hospital’s wording had been “misleading” and asked me to get them to rephrase it. I stood my ground, stating that interpreting medical terminology was their responsibility, not mine. Eventually, between the hospital and the HMO, they resolved the issue, and my refund was processed, though done by the hospital…interesting right?

Story 2: A Mother’s Three-Hour Wait

Fast forward to yesterday, 30th January, a similar issue arose, this time with my mother’s HMO plan for the elderly. She was sent to a diagnostic center for some tests, but authorization took over three hours. When I followed up, I was told there was a system downtime. Still, my 73-year-old mother had to sit there waiting, exhausted, frustrated, and in pain.

Eventually, the HMO informed us that her tests were classified as “wellness checks” and not covered. Then, after some more back and forth, they said they needed a “proper diagnosis” from the hospital before they could approve it. The pattern was all too familiar.

This time, I didn’t bother wasting my energy engaging their frontline staff. Instead, I sent an email directly to their CEO and COO, highlighting my concerns and the undue delay. Within an hour, the CEO responded, acknowledging that my mother’s experience was unacceptable. He personally intervened, and soon after, the hospital and diagnostic center received the necessary authorizations.

Lessons Learned: The Power of Knowing and Asking

These two experiences reaffirmed several crucial life lessons, not just about dealing with HMOs but about how to navigate systems, hold institutions accountable, and ensure that people and organizations deliver on their obligations.

1. Know what is due to you.

Whether it’s a service you paid for, a government benefit, or an employment entitlement, ignorance is a dangerous thing. Companies, institutions, and even governments sometimes bank on people not knowing their rights or entitlements.

2. Recognize when you are being taken for a ride.

In both cases, the HMO initially framed its denial as a policy-based decision. However, upon scrutiny, it became evident that their processes were flawed, inconsistent, or outright exploitative. If I had not checked my coverage and challenged them, I would have simply paid or walked away in frustration. And sometimes, it’s not entirely their fault—they are simply following laid-down procedures. But policies are not set in stone; they can and should be questioned when they create unnecessary hurdles or deny people what they rightfully deserve.

3. Know who to contact for action.

Many organizations have layers of bureaucracy designed to deflect complaints. Frontline customer service often lacks the authority to resolve issues, leading customers into frustrating cycles of back-and-forth interactions. Instead of going in circles, escalate to decision-makers—those with the power to implement change. A particular bank is notorious for this; you’ll find yourself on an endless round trip before your issue gets resolved—if it ever does. By the time a solution finally comes, you’ll have spent more time and energy chasing it than should ever be necessary.

4. Present your case with clarity and purpose.

When escalating issues, be clear about what the problem is, why it is wrong, and what resolution you expect. Emotional rants rarely achieve results, but well-structured arguments, backed by facts, make it difficult to ignore or dismiss your claim. I learned this the hard way—firsthand.

5. Show appreciation when things are resolved.

While it’s important to demand accountability, it’s equally important to acknowledge those who step up and do the right thing—especially when an issue you raise gets resolved. A simple note of appreciation can reinforce good behavior and set a positive precedent for future cases. It also helps build a constructive relationship with the company, institution, or organization, showing that your intent is not just to criticize but to foster improvement. There’s no need to create enemies on the path to progress. As the old saying goes, there are many paths to the mountaintop. If our paths cross, let’s encourage each other along the way and meet at the top. Simple.

Beyond Personal Battles: Linking This to Nation-Building

These same principles extend beyond personal experiences to how we engage with governance, public institutions, and national development.

• Citizens must know their rights and demand accountability. Much like how I had to push for my rightful benefits from my HMO, Nigerians must be proactive in holding government officials accountable for delivering on promises and policies. If you don’t know your rights, they will be trampled upon.

• Systemic inefficiencies thrive when people don’t challenge them. The long delays, the bureaucratic hurdles, and the inconsistent justifications by the HMO are mirrors of how many public services operate. If people consistently push back against inefficiency, the pressure to improve will increase.

• Knowing who to engage in governance is crucial. Just as I bypassed the frontline customer service and went directly to the COO and CEO, citizens must learn to direct their demands to the right authorities and channels. Writing letters to local government officials, legislators, and policymakers is more effective than endless social media rants.

• A well-informed populace strengthens democracy. When people are aware of their rights and know how to demand them, governments and institutions become more accountable. The reason many bad policies persist is that the majority either don’t know better or have accepted dysfunction as normal.

• Acknowledging progress encourages more reforms. When public officials do the right thing, citizens should recognize and commend their efforts. Positive reinforcement helps foster a culture where doing the right thing becomes standard rather than an exception.

Final Thoughts: Stand Up and Speak Up

Many times, people suffer injustices not because help isn’t available but because they do not know how to ask for it or whom to ask. Whether in personal situations, business transactions, or national issues, success often comes down to knowing what is right and how to ask for it.

The next time you are faced with a situation where you are denied something that is rightfully yours, remember:

1. Know what you rightfully deserve.
2. Recognize when you are being played.
3. Escalate to the right people.
4. Present your case clearly and with evidence.
5. Appreciate those who help resolve the matter.
6. If more people applied these principles, we would have stronger institutions, better customer service, and a more accountable government. And ultimately, we would all live in a more just and functional society.