Single parents don’t need anonymous generosity but public respect


Powered by article titled “Single parents don’t need anonymous generosity but public respect” was written by Suzanne Moore, for on Monday 26th January 2015 11.51 UTC

Are random acts of kindness so rare that they are actual news? Apparently so. A young woman Samantha Welch was on a long train journey with her three year-old son. She did her best to entertain him, playing games with him and letting him listen to music. Eventually he fell asleep and because the train was full, she pulled him on to her lap so that she could offer his seat to other people.

Anyone who has travelled with a child will be familiar with this. Trains and boats and planes. Or actually buses. You try your best to keep the child quiet and happy and it’s exhausting. There are times when they become fractious, whatever you do. There are tantrums that not even a bag of Wotsits can soothe. There are stairs in most stations where people rush by as you bump up a buggy with a child and a heavy bag.

There are times when you need to leave your luggage to take a child to the loo or when a flight attendant will dump a tray of food on top of you when you have a toddler on your knee.

Travelling with a small child can be hard work, work that single parents do all the time. If you are not in that stage of life, it’s easier not to notice: move away from wailing infants and put your headphones in.

One man, however, did notice that this young woman in front of him was doing her best. As he left the train he tapped Samantha on the shoulder and said she had dropped something . It was a note that said:

“Have a drink on me. You are a credit to your generation, polite and teaching the little boy good manners. Man on train at table with glasses and hat. Have a lovely evening.
“PS I have a daughter your age, someone did the same for her once. Hope when she has children she is as good a mother as you.”

There was a fiver wrapped inside it.

The letter Samantha Welch received. Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV/Rex

The Daily Mail reported this story and wants to find this “generous stranger”. Kindness is clearly no longer its own reward. The subtext to this sweetness, though, is that of a decent man acknowledging a good young mother. Who knew such a thing existed? Samantha said: “People look at you and judge you every day when you’re a single mum but getting that note made me feel special and proud. That might sound silly, but all I’m trying to do is make a better life for my son.”

That does not sound silly at all. It makes perfect sense. Where, pray, does the assumption that single mothers do not want the best for their children come from?

Is it only the province of perfect couples to teach their children basic manners or how to behave in public? Actually, as a single parent, it has always been to my advantage to make my children as portable as possible.

But I am happy that this young women’s efforts were recognised. What we need though is not simply anonymous generosity but public respect. This has long been in short supply from the top down as single mothers are spoken of as failures, burdens, and responsible for so many societal ills. Besides dropping us a fiver and helping us with our bags, the ultimate kindness would be to relieve us of the baggage of nasty and negative preconceptions. We mostly try to get it right most of the time.

It’s nice that at least one person saw that. © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010

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Miracle of Prayer..


“Dear, i’ll be taking your car out to the market this morning, will be back by noon” Fadeke called to her husband who was still snucked in bed early saturday morning. “Can i go with you mummy?” Abe her 8 yr old son asked..”Sure why not she replied.”

Off they went to the market in Joe’s car, mother and son on a bright saturday morning It was fun and exciting for little Abe. At least he was away from home and the dreary house cores Grandma will make sure they do along his Brothers, Oye and Ope.

But little do they know what lies in store for them that they.

After the going around, haggling for better bargain and getting the boot of the car loaded, mother and son got into the vehicle at and left Bodija market en route home at Benjamin, Eleyele. On getting to Sango, She stopped to buy something by the road side and Fadeke could not ignite the engine when she was done.

So the car was pushed off the road to check and it was discovered that it was a kick starter problem, that the vehicle could be jump started.

Unfortunately, Fadeke, though being driving for a while now, did not know how to jump-start the car. Quite incidentally, they had stopped by the popular Sango Garage, so the Bus drivers were readily available to help. So one of them offered to help jump-start the vehicle while Fadeke got out and gave a helping hand to push the vehicle.
The vehicle was given a push, the man jump started the car and Vrooom!!! He zoomed off with little Abe in the car!!!!!!!

For a split second that looked like eternity, Fadeke was stunned so were the people who stood there. And when the vehicle disappeared from view, the reality of what happened hit Fadeke with the full force of a tornado. She screamed and threw herself on the ground right in the middle of the road and shouted out a prayer to God in her anguish, “God scatter the workings of that vehicle and give me my son hail, hearty and unharmed!!”

People tried to console her and rally to her aid, but there was no way to trace the car. Someone volunteered to race after the car, but valuable time had been lost and he had simply vanished into thin air with the car and little Abe in it!

In her desolate confusion, she ran into the road, and a vehicle overran her and the people all around were aghast at the turn of events wondering, “This woman whose son has just been kidnapped and her car stolen has been knocked down by a vehicle!!” But to the consternation of all, Fadeke rolled out from underneath the vehicle and shouted “Am alive oo!! There is nothing wrong!! Just get me my son!!!!”

The Sango Park Transport officials were in a quandary of what to do. They successfully identified the driver that took off with the car, but they could not locate where he stays in particular. The irony was, there was no mobile phone to use to communicate as we have now, it was a frustrating heart-wrenching period for all who were there.

Fadeke was taken to the Police Station which was close to the park to lodge a complaint, and a Police officer took down her statement and escorted her home to tell her husband, Joe who was due to travel later in the day on Saturday.

Meanwhile, Joe was getting impatient at home, waiting for his wife to return so he could end his discussion with her before he travels out-of-town.
Grandma was having a hard time getting Oye and Ope to understand why their Mum was not home yet with Abe since it was a saturday and they knew she wasn’t going to work and Daddy was at home too. She could hear Joe muttering to himself, wondering why Fadeke was taking such a long time to return home and she was getting agitated herself for she wanted to take her medications and sleep. But sleep was far with the two young boys roaming the house.

Suddenly they heard a knock on the gate and saw Fadeke accompanied by two Police Officers and 3 men… Joe was taken aback wondering what the problem was especially seeing Fadeke dishevelled and looking like she had passed through the Sahara desert and taken a dip in Ogunpa river. He asked, “What’s the problem? Where is my Son?”

Fadeke broke down inconsolable unable to speak, it was one of the men that spoke, narrating what happened. Joe was stunned to his marrow, Grandma, saw her world coming to an end. The questions, how? Why? When? What? came rumbling together like rivers approaching a confluence in Joe’s mind as he could not fathom what they were saying. He responded, “Find my son!!”

Grandma tried consoling her daughter, but she was at a loss herself… In her mind, a repeat scenario was playing itself out, for she had lost one of her sons years ago, he walked out of the house and never returned, in an apparent grudge with his family. And till date, reports of his whereabouts are known, but all communications cut off.

Grandma rolled on the floor in silent prayer of anguish to God, weeping and begging for mercy to find her Grandson, Abe.
Oye and Ope, stood wondering the turn of events. Even though Oye was 9yrs old, he saw the look in his mother’s eyes to know that he needs to keep Ope in check who was just 5yrs old.

But somewhere in this mirage of confusion, desolation and anguish, the prayer of a righteous man availed…God heard the cry of the desolate disoriented Fadeke and caused the impossible to happen.

To be continued..

A Tribute to a Woman of Valor

Early this morning, i got a call from my younger Brother, “Hello Bros, Mama Adamasingba has gone ooo!!!” For a moment i was shocked and told him on the phone, its not possible. Burt why is it not possible?

This is a woman, 90yrs+ who has been on her back for about 10yrs due to an illness that left her paralysed and partially blind. This was a woman, who before she was rendered incapacitated, would come visiting us at home and ready to stand for us and fight for justice and fairness for us. Continue reading